Conscious Living – Conscious Dying

In a recent post about my friend in hospice care I spoke of the ever-present silence that is becoming the norm when I visit her – and the importance of respecting it. Today my visit inspires me to add this next thought about being with her and the silence. When she does have enough energy to interact even minimally – we speak a bit. But here’s the rub. Each word is tied to a concept, an idea or a memory requiring accessing the flies in the library of the mind.

Thus, when I speak to her or ask questions, I engage her need to access memory and build multi-level thinking. These are all steps away from being present in the moment – and they require effort. So just like our silence causes me to reflect on my mind’s impulse to fill the vacuum – similarly if I care about her comfort, when I do speak it’s best I stay VERY present to her mental ability, and remain simple. One thought, one idea, a few words.

Although this sounds unique to this circumstance of a person with diminishing capacity, it’s not. If we desire to live consciously in daily life, this simplicity expresses our pure being more than the busy mind ever could. How many times do we ask a question, and then before the response – add a qualifier, then another? Or ask a question with more than one layer? With my friend, I watch her effort to respond in her eyes, although I admit at times she’ll somehow find energy to let me know with outright frustration that I’m asking too much of her. I smile inside that as weak as she is, complaining seems to have access to secret reserves.

Overall though, accessing files is becoming a chore with little strength. So simple sentences create the best chance of communication. As for life, it’s the same. Speak, be still, and listen, observe. Be free of needing the answer to fit your desired time frame or context. Speak simply, rest, and listen. Deeper connection with others happens here, where there’s space for it. My dear teacher of silence and truth, Samuel Avital, spoke of what his rabbinic father and grandfather, said, “Use only the words you need, lest you find yourself having used them up before the end.”

With my beloved friend, simplicity, whether in silence or words, is the greatest possibility for love to be known as we walk this timeless moment across the bridge between the physical and beyond.

David Ellzey is a Coach and one of four global Sedona Method Instructors, a Best-Selling Author and Noted Speaker. Find out if Conscious Coaching is right for you.

Contact David for a free 30-Minute Consultation. CLICK